Our Beautiful Mother, Grandmother, and Friend - Olya Des-Etages

Simon's Place

Our Beautiful Mother, Grandmother, and Friend - Olya Des-Etages

Say not in grief that she is no more, but live in thankfulness that she was.

Danielle Des-Etages (Eldest Grand Daughter)

Olya Des-Etages, mother of Gary and Simon and grandmother of our beautiful girls, passed from this life to the next on July 20th 2010. It is impossible to express just how much we miss her and how profound a sense of privilege and apprecation we feel that she shared her life with us. She was a young, spirited sixty something when she died, with soft, smooth skin, eyes full of life and impishness and a heart full of love and generosity. It is hard for us to think of her as gone because we continue to be filled with her love and to feel her presence all around us. Although we miss her terribly and could so easily descend into a world of despair and suffering, we are committed to celebrating her life with joy in our hearts, smiles on our faces and a lightness of spirit that reflects the very best of who she knew us to be. She would not have wanted anyone to suffer as a result of her death and although she passed suddenly and by surprise, I am sure that she was ready for the next phase of her divine journey. We love you mum, with all our heart and soul and you will always be at the center of our lives. For all of her family and friends who have been invited to celebrate her life, please see below the funeral details.

Olya Des-Etages

Funeral Details

Date: Saturday 31st July, 2010

Time: 11.30 am

Place: Croydon Cemeteries and Crematorium, 150 Thornton Road, Thornton Heath, Surrey CR7 6BB

How to get to Croydon Cemeteries and Crematorium

There is a large car park with disabled parking adjacent to the East and West chapels and crematorium and limited parking throughout the cemetery grounds. See the associated link for a premises map and the downloads below for the locations of vehicle entrances.

From East Croydon train station take the tram to the Therapia Lane stop. The cemetery is about 500m north of the tram stop.

Bus: Numbers 64, 109, 198, 250 or 289.

Location Map

http://www.croydon.gov.uk/maps/mitchamcremandcemtr

There is an alternative entrance to Croydon Cemeteries and Crematorium at:

Mitcham Road,

Croydon, Surrey,

CR9 3AT.

You can call the Crematorium Office on 0208 684 3877.

Flowers or Donations

If you wish to send flowers, they may be sent either to

The Funeral Director

Dowsett & Jenkins

1507 London Road

Norbury, London SW16 4AE

Tel: 0208 764 2912 by 4.00 pm - NO LATER THAN FRIDAY 30th July; or to

Olya's Home Address (See below)

You may alternatively wish to make a donation to a charity of your choice. For your information only, our mother donated to OXFAM, Cancer Research and Children in Crisis.

A gathering to celebrate our mother's life will take place immediately after the funeral at our mother's home at:

63 Bishops Park Road, Norbury, London SW16 5TX

We can be contacted on:

Home: 0208 240 1446

Mobile: 07906 842 886.

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A Parents Worth

The mighty oaks spread branches wide

To shade the sapling trees

When Autumn’s cool arrives

They cover them with golden leaves

The seasons pass rain, sun and snow

While limbs grow long and sturdy

The older trees decline and bow

As younger trees prove worthy

And when with crashing thunder

Proud old oak trees meet their end

Once sapling trees their parents gone

Towards the heavens wend

From acorns comes new birth

As roots begin to spread

In nurturing soils rich black and moist

The young feed on the dead

And so the natural course of things

Gives life to those that follow

A parents worth begins at birth

And lasts well past tomorrow

Love you always,

Sammy xxx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM XXXXX

MAY 2 2011

My beautiful mother would have been 68 today. Now she is eternal. She has truly found the secret of everlasting life. She has shed the skin that seemed to confirm the truth, that numbers like bookends define our beginning and end. But isn’t that what we do? We believe a thing to be true and collect the evidence that proves it. Our hair thins and grays, our skin wrinkles, our eyes fail and slowly we lose our physical strength and resilience and we believe that these are all signs of a coming end. But aren’t these for most of us simply a right of passage. We cannot begin the next phase of our journey if we do not say goodbye to those things that anchored us to the former. And doesn't the journey prepare us for the transition and for what is next? When my mother transitioned, she was calm. There was a natural fear and discomfort that comes with the territory but that fear and discomfort was no more than the fear and discomfort that a new born experiences as she is thrust from her mother.

My mother was ready for what she knew would inevitably arrive. An experience that touches us all and had already arrived for so many that she loved. Those that helped to define her and so who contributed to my experience of her. I know she was calm because in her final months she reveled in her life and in her relationships with the world and all of us. She was overwhelmed with a feeling of love that poured out of her and over us and we knew we were blessed to be part of her life. She shed many tears of joy in her last few months. She understood just how precious life is, and such a profound exhilaration for the experience of life cannot be born from anywhere but a deep inner peace and calm.

I want to be mournful but the heaven in me won’t let me. I am sad that I cannot call my mother later this morning and hear her voice, yet as I write these words I can hear her like I have never before heard her. I am sad that she will not chastise me for buying her an unnecessary gift, but this year there will be no gift and so no need to chastise. I am sad that I won’t experience her overwhelming gratitude for simply being in my thoughts on this her birthday. Yet she is in my thoughts now like no other birthday before and I am awash with overwhelming gratitude, enough for the both us. I am reminded that at least during my waking hours, I will never feel her warm soft hands on my face or experience the heaven in her eyes. Yet I am her creation. A living embodiment of my mother and father. How far then is she? Rather I am reminded that she embraces me in every moment and in every conceivable way, both inside and out. And that realization calms me and fills me with love and relief.

Tonight she reminds me that life is precious and is best experienced to the full. Tonight she tells me to celebrate her life and mine, which are eternally and inexorably intertwined. Tonight she reminds me that there need be no mundane moments. No regrets and no guilt. That feelings of sadness are normal but should not distract me from my incredible life and from the incredible people I am lucky to share it with. Tonight I am reminded that I am the son of a beautiful, eternal mother, Olya Des-Etages, who was born to Ivanka and Jovan Misic on May 2nd, 1943.

Happy Birthday Mum. I love you xxxx

Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings about our mother in the guestbook:

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